I am a chickenhawk. For fun and exercise i enjoy raiding henhouses and absconding with eggs.

My Ideal Person I are lookin fer a hairy woman. I'm tired of all these shaved and groomed people. I want me a swamp woman what can go out and rassle me up some grubs.

Must have pic of feet for reply. I personally don't own a camera due to the religious belief that each snap you take destroys the firmament made by Lord frank the Almighty. So the best i can do is a crude sketch from left over snack wrap grease.

No hobbits please. I'm not racist but im so not gonna defeat a dark demigod to get your ring all squooshy and moist in a grotto in a volcano.

Also required: A mathematical proof in symbolic logic telling me why Paris hilton is the ugliest slut on earth.

Women with normal names aren't discouted immediately either. But you Will have to wow me with your talents to stay in the pool. Calligraphy of the vaginal area. Cat juggling. You get the idea.
P.S Females from Siberia and or mongolia who always keep a large container of fermented sweetend goats milk with them are a huge turn on.

Would love but certainly not demand that you be at least 6'4. Have blonde hair and blue nipples. Be able to deform a golfball with your genitals. And love puppies.

That pretty much sums it up. Except of course for the Helgremites. I keep 20 individually named, bred for aggressiveness helgremites as pets.