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harder! harder! 10/4/2015
A young nun was assigned by the Mother Superior to help old Father O'Malley
with his Sunday night bath. The next morning, the older
nun asked the young girl if she had had any difficulties.
"Oh no, " the nun smiled. "As a matter
of fact, I attained eternal salvation." The Mother was puzzled. "What do you mean?"
"Well, Father O'Malley took my hand and put it
between his legs. Then a miracle ...
3 Comments, 149 Views,
10 Votes
,4.58 Score |
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Handjob 10/3/2015
Three guys go to a lodge up in the snowy mountains & there
aren't enough vacant rooms, so they have to share a
bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the left wakes
up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting
a hand job!" The guy on the right wakes up and states
he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle
wakes up and says, "I envy you guys; I just dreamed
I was ...
1 Comments, 72 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score |
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Points Post 10/2/2015
This is a blog for everyone to comment on to get points
1 Comments, 14 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score |
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Points Post 10/2/2015
This is a blog for everyone to comment on to get points
0 Comments, 8 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score |
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The Definiton of Torque 10/2/2015
When men wake in the morning with "Hardwood"
They head to the bathroom to piss.
Standing at the bowl
As they push down on their hard cock (being sure not to miss)
It rises their heels off the floor.
Now thats torque
0 Comments, 40 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score |
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Witty Word Pun 10/1/2015
I've just realized that sex with 3 people is called
threesome. Sex with 4 people is called foursome. Now I see
why they call you handsome
2 Comments, 37 Views,
6 Votes
,4.22 Score |
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Another Genie 9/30/2015
Guy walks into a classy bar, with two beautiful redheads
on each arm and as he sits down the bartender notices this
little ugly green thing sitting on his shoulder. Fixing
to to tell the dude to leave, when the guy pulling a crisp
Benjamin outta his top pocket & sez is loud bass voice;
'Set up the bar! Drinks on me.' Well, of course, he starts mixing drinks & placing
them in front of the ...
3 Comments, 105 Views,
12 Votes
,3.68 Score |
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Typical Highland baby boy. 9/29/2015
A Scot was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone. He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Scottish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's
about average up our way, folks...like I said - my boy's a typical Highland baby ...
1 Comments, 79 Views,
9 Votes
,4.71 Score |
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New Birth Control for men 9/28/2015
Idea from a Blog. Just heard about this great new product:
'Shoe-In'. It's advertised as a huge brown
pill and unlike Viagra or other stiffener pills, this one
isn't swallowed, it's to simply be placed in a
man's shoe [Left or Right makes no difference]. It's
guaranteed to make you continually LIMP! If that isn't
the perfect form of Birth Control = I don't know what
is.
1 Comments, 48 Views,
6 Votes
,1.09 Score |
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spelling b!! 9/26/2015
A guy was driving down the highway with his smokin'
hot blonde girlfriend and she said to him, 'I think those people in the car next to us are from another
country. 'Why is that?' he said. 'Well, the are writing on the window and it says,
...'stit ruoy su wohs
2 Comments, 71 Views,
5 Votes
,5.75 Score |
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What 9/21/2015
The proctologist had been a physician for many years and
had the same nurse for most of that time. One day a man comes
in, with a patch over one eye, and the nurse commented that
he looked like a pirate. The guy overhears her and turns
to the lady sitting next to him: 'Of course I'm
not a pirate, but I was in an accident and inadvertently
swallowed my glass eye.' "I'm so sorry!"
'Yeah, well ...
2 Comments, 91 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score |
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knowlegable staff!! 9/20/2015
A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't
know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to
the counter.
A Cabela's associate is standing there wearing dark
shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about
this rod and reel?"
He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind;
but if you'll drop it on the ...
3 Comments, 130 Views,
13 Votes
,5.32 Score |
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wrestling!! 9/20/2015
A Russian and Ole the Norwegian wrestler were set to square
off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach
came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all the
research we've done on this Russian.. He's never
lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he
has." Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that
hold! If he does, you're finished'. Ole nodded
in ...
3 Comments, 91 Views,
12 Votes
,5.98 Score |
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You Caught My Eye 9/19/2015
A man who lived in a block of apartments thought it was raining
and put his hand out the window to check. As he did so a glass
eye fell into his hand. He looked up to see where it came from
in time to see a young woman looking down.
"Is this yours?" he asked.
She said, "Yes, could you bring it up?" and the
man agreed.
On arrival she was profuse in her thanks and ...
2 Comments, 104 Views,
10 Votes
,4.18 Score |
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Who Says Men Don't Remember Anniversaries 9/19/2015
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband
was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee
in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at
the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes
a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers ...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score |
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His Last wishes 9/17/2015
Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His
nurse, his wife, his and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in
place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he
begins to speak: • My , "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair
houses." • My "Sybil, you take the apartments over
in the east end." • My , "Jamie, I want you to ...
1 Comments, 83 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score |
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Wet Celery 9/17/2015
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive
woman waving at him.
She says, 'Hello.'
He's rather taken aback because he can't place
where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father
of one of my .'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife. So he asks, ...
1 Comments, 78 Views,
8 Votes
,5.33 Score |
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The Animal Bar 9/17/2015
Nice little watering hole on the savanna; where the Hyenas
are good for a laugh, the Lions prowl for fair game and the
bouncer is a Gorilla. Two buds -one a Leopard and the other
a good looking Field Mouse, who is known as the Don Juan type-
frequent visitors /walk in and grab a table. They have been
keeping score and the Mouse is way ahead. The Leopard: "Look
pal... You've scored with almost ...
2 Comments, 50 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score |
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karma!!! 9/15/2015
I was on a clean up crew and we stopped to cut back the weeds
and pickup trash. We got out of the truck and I reached in
back to get a weed wacker. Some Pompous ass snatched it out
of my hands ans told me I was going to have to pick up the trash
and he was going to run this weed wacker. I was across the street with another guy and he said, that
guy is such a jerk, aren't you going to do ...
4 Comments, 116 Views,
10 Votes
,5.18 Score |
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Blow job 9/15/2015
A woman is on one of those funeral cruises where the ashes
of loved ones may be dumped into the sea. She had been married
to a real cheapskate, who after 30 years of marriage finally
died. The lady had her husband cremated, at his wishes,
because he felt a plot would cost too much. After the memorial
services, she went to the railing and poured his ashes out
into her hands and started talking to ...
2 Comments, 100 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score |
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18 Daughters 9/15/2015
Three men went Las Vegas and after a losing their money at
the blackjack tables, the best friends decided to stay
off the strip in a not so lavish hotel and the guy that owned
it had 18 daughters so the first man went up to they're
father and said "can I sleep with your 18 daughters?"
the father said "no but you can sleep with the pigs."
the second man went to the father and said "can I sleep ...
2 Comments, 110 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score |
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10 Inch Bic 9/15/2015
Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter He replies "Yes
I do!" and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter
Surprised the guy asks "Where did you get this?"
The guy replies "Oh I have a personal genie."
The first man asks "Can I make a wish? " Sure says
the other man "Just make sure that you speak clearly
cause he is a little hard at ...
0 Comments, 58 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score |
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Hurricane 9/14/2015
A Sailor coming into the port of New Orleans after a 6 month
cruise, with all his back pay. Goes to a fancy Cat House and
tells the madam he wants the most exotic in the place.
The madam sizes him up: 'You're a sailor and I got
a gal goes by the handle of Hurricane. Some really like her,
but a few have not...anyhow if you want ta try her, it'll
run you $250 up front.' The sailor forks up ...
0 Comments, 80 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score |
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farts 9/12/2015
Martin had just met his girlfriend, when she asked him to
go over to her place for dinner to meet her parents. Not wanting
to make a bad impression, he goes over.
After he has been sitting at the table for a while, he feels
an incredible pain in his stomach and has to let a fart go. Just
then, the family's dog, Fido, walks under the table
and his tail bumps Martin's leg. This kind ...
2 Comments, 103 Views,
7 Votes
,4.82 Score |
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Being Neighborly 9/12/2015
She's single... She's shapely ...She's
beautiful and she lives right across the street. I can see
her place from my kitchen window.
I watched as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised
when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked
on the door. I opened the door, she looked at me and said, "I just
got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, ...
1 Comments, 179 Views,
4 Votes
,5.19 Score |
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LAST WISHES 9/12/2015
Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His
nurse, his wife, his and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in
place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he
begins to speak: • My , "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair
houses." • My "Sybil, you take the apartments over
in the east end." • My , "Jamie, I want you to ...
0 Comments, 29 Views,
0 Votes
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Wet Celery 9/12/2015
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive
woman waving at him.
She says, 'Hello.'
He's rather taken aback because he can't place
where he knows her from. So he asks, 'Do you know me?'
To which she replies, 'I think you're the father
of one of my .'
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been
unfaithful to his wife. So he asks, ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score |
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Naked Dinner 9/9/2015
A man and a woman were celebrating their 50th anniversary.
They were talking before their dinner about how they should
celebrate their big evening. The woman decided she would
cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should
do what they did on their wedding night and eat at the dinner
table naked. The woman agreed. Later that night at the table,
the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are ...
1 Comments, 86 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score |
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NO SALE 9/7/2015
A Lonely Widow - Goes into a pet store looking for a companion. Speaks to
the owner: 'I'm a very religious person and I want
a clean pet for company.' "Humm...cats and dogs
can be messy, but I have just the thing for you." They
walk towards a row of cages and here is this pretty parrot
on a perch, with a silver cord on one leg and a gold cord tied
to the other. The owner: "We just got this ...
3 Comments, 117 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score |
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Little League Sportsmanship 9/6/2015
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old
baseball players aside and asked, "Do you understand
what co-operation is? What a team is?"
"Yes, coach", replied the little boy.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we
win or lose together as a team?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"So, " the coach continued, "I'm
sure ...
1 Comments, 137 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score |