Wanna call me, or vice versa???
|
Posted:Jan 22, 2008 3:15 pm
Last Updated:Sep 23, 2011 7:47 pm
29654 Views
|
I stole this from welove2squirt's blog.
Hope they don't mind, 
For those of you who are standard members and can not send emails or for those of you that want to leave me msgs here you may do so.
I will set this post that I need to pre-review all responses that way they will remain private. No one can see the msg you leave except me.
Hope this helps with those that can not send emails.
|
|
|
2
Comments
, 3 Pending
|
|
Just a little thank you note.
|
Posted:Dec 17, 2009 10:50 pm
Last Updated:Jan 28, 2014 11:59 am
31379 Views
|
I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.
I no longer have lemon slices in my ice water at a restaurant without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose (although cell phone usage may be overtaking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing...
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore , and Uzbekistan .
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your backside, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now.....it's too late!
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
Thank You Men's Health!
|
Posted:Apr 21, 2009 6:54 am
Last Updated:Dec 21, 2010 12:15 pm
30706 Views
|
Female behaviour we will not tolerate anymore!
1. You say to us, "You're not romantic anymore." Fine, we'll try harder. But only if you agree to initiate once in a while, too.
Deal?
2. Then there's "You never listen." This is not an inherently male trait.
I mean, how many times does a guy have to explain the infield-fly rule?
3. No, you don't look fat.
Did we mention how you never listen?
4. If you ask our opinion, please don't get mad when we give it. The color of the curtains shouldn't be a referendum on our relationship.
5. It's just a spider, for Pete's sake. Step on it.
6. We worked a 60-hour week, took out the garbage, did the dishes, paid the bills, walked the dog, changed the oil, picked up the dry cleaning, read to the , and gave you equal time. All we're asking for is 3 hours on the couch on Sunday.
7. No more deflecting responsibility for crummy behavior with cute and kittenish responses. You can't giggle your way out of trouble anymore.
8. You know damn well what we're doing in there. Stop asking.
9. Forget the notion that raising is harder than maintaining gainful employment. More important? Yes. But harder? No.
10. If you continue to dump on our best friend, we will probe the (many) character tics of all your friends.
11. If you want to have , you have to have sex. This is not a complaint. This is science.
12. Somewhere, somehow, women were sold this idea of "fashionably late." Men don't get this. Make up a fashion emergency if you must, but don't ask us to be intentionally tardy. It's like asking us to kick the host in the groin.
13. Yes, that woman is hot. Yes, we appreciate beauty. That's why we're with you.
14. We do listen. And empathize.
But when your troubles have been analyzed until there's nothing left to talk about, can we please stop talking about them?
15. If we fell in love with you when you had long hair, we're going to want you to keep your long hair until death do us part. We'll beg, but would prefer not to.
16. As for commitment ultimatums, just address numbers 1 through 15 on this list, then we'll talk.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
.... how time flies.....
|
Posted:Mar 6, 2009 4:11 pm
Last Updated:Aug 28, 2010 2:56 am
30689 Views
|
.... or crawls depending on the situation. Wow, its been a while since I posted here. Ok, well lets get to it. I'm home from the US Virgin Islands, once again. My job sucks doesn't it? Ummmm dumped a young lady that told me I was everything she was looking for in a man, except..... Yep, those were her exact words. My response, I cant be everything you are looking for. She was pissed at ME! I just point out the obvious. I've been busy at the other "space", and before you say its a bunch of teeny boppers, I have connected with a lot of friends I had lost touch with over the years. Oh, did I mention they have music? Music soothes thy soul, and eases thy mind. Dont know who said it, but about sums up my feelings. What else? I'm losing weight again, and entering a hard body competition this summer, aint gonna look like this forever, but I hear Sly Stallone has a secret miracle potion that helps! Ummm, I'll be back and more coherent later when the rum wears off! So, HOW YOU DOING?
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Ironic, isnt it?
|
Posted:Sep 18, 2008 3:58 pm
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2010 1:23 am
30730 Views
|
Have you ever sucked a seat cover up through your anal sphincter?
I spent three days, with my engine torn apart, labeling each wire, placing nuts bolts and screws in the correct corresponding plastic bags. I finished yesterday, with no extra parts.
Had the car secured on two jack stands, and two ramps, front and rear. Replaced the transmission seal, harmonic balancer, distributor cap, four electrical wires and reset the timing, while replacing the water pump gasket.
All that was done SAFELY! Lowered the car to the ground, with out dropping said 1 ton vehicle on any toes! Take it out for a test drive, and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!...
MY accelerator got stuck on my floor mat! My fucking floor mat almost killed me! Well at least I know the engine is rock solid, because it revved to almost 8,000 rpms like three times, tires squealing, rear end getting loose, and tires smoking!
I need a drink, so, How was your day?
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
... what did you just say?????
|
Posted:Sep 14, 2008 6:17 pm
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2009 5:52 am
31008 Views
|
....... " I said you, and all those guys like you, are neanderthals, with low self esteem."
That's when it hit me........ this woman is truly nuts! Not in the, its oh so funny, look at that nuts. No, I mean, defcon 1, launch all the missles, scorched earth, damn the torpedoes, all infidels must die, type of nuts!
...um, why do you say that? Her response..... "Look at you. All muscle bound, and self important." (WTF?????) " I bet you go to work, and think they need you there all the time." No, ma'am, actually I quit my job on a regular basis, and they call me back. See my job has a high burnout, and turnover rate; so, yeah, they do need me there, I guess.
.....Her reply..... "Right, I just bet they do....... How often do you workout, and what are you taking?"
.....If you know me, you know, I hate that question. Its a one part question, because its always asked together. It makes me want to run out, grab the nearest person I find thinner than me, tie them up in my dungeon, and beat them into working out with me, and eating what I eat. You don't need chemical enhancements to look like I do. By the way I am no where near being in good shape, that's why I put up the profile picture. I am fat, getting older, and an ex athlete, with a somewhat sedentary lifestyle. Meaning, I eat well, I drink even better, and I work enough to support my addiction. Video games, movies, and watching sports on large television screens. Thats about it.
.....So where does that leave us???? Hmmmm, well, I've decided to get back into shape. No, not that kind of shape, I'm going for the all time record here. I want to show everyone why I'm so hard on my appearance now a days. I want to....... no, thats not right. I am going to look like I did, when I was playing football in college. Hell bent on it in fact. This isn't really for anyone but me. I'll be 32 on October 13th. That's not young anymore. I need to build a base for going into my forties. Looking ahead, and realizing, its not frightening, especially when I think I wasn't supposed to live this long.
..." Hey ma'am, I just wanted to thank you. Your condescending attitude, rude behavior, and all around bitchiness, makes me very proud of my up bringing, and work ethic. You see, everytime you doubt, call into question, and don't believe, it just proves I'm doing something right. For the record, I've never taken anything, I've worked very hard, and conceded very little. You power my anger, and hatred of lazy people. Yes, its hatred, its strong, and its probably eternal. See, for every time you take a shortcut, purchase an easier way, and disengenuinely cheat on your workout, or work, I have the satisfaction of knowing, I did the best I could. You envy that, and just a little bit, you hate yourself each time you see what hard work does. Furthermore MTV, Bravo, and VH1, told you, you can have it now. Burger King, said you could have it your way. You've been lead to believe, you are entitled to everything. When the truth is, you are only entitled to a chance, to make of it, what you will."
...... the bitching and insults continue.......
......Do you even know what I do for a living? Better yet, do you care?! I, on a somewhat regular basis, am responsible for the safety of every man and woman working with and around me. Take that in slowly, and think, if someone was breaking into your house, would you want a cop that looks like Arnold or Jessica Biel in Blade Trinity, or would you like your life to depend on Jerry Seinfeld or Mila Kunis? Your choice, but for my tax dollars, I want someone strong and confident.
No answer, just that look that could kill hardened terror suspects. I dont know what someone my size did to her, ex husband probably, but she hates me. Doesn't know me, and thats fine, I prefer it that way. Sometimes being somewhat intimidating, and looking unapproachable is a damned good thing!
So, if you don't see me for awhile, I'm going to work. On myself and my career, its time to start adjusting for the future. Toodles, and the picture to the left, is like many places I've called home away from home over the years. I feel safe and welcome in those places. Sometimes complete strangers, welcome you better, than those that think they know you.
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Things learned from a hurricane.
|
Posted:Sep 10, 2008 8:01 pm
Last Updated:Oct 23, 2008 6:42 pm
30641 Views
|
# Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.
# No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.
# can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.
# Cats are even more irritating without power.
# He who has the biggest generator wins.
# Women can actually survive without doing their hair--you just wish they weren't around you.
# A new method of non-lethal torture - showers without hot water.
# There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought.
# TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful. One day at a time, brother.
# A 7 lb bag of ice will chill 6-12 oz Budweiser's to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14-pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours.
# There are a lot of trees around here.
# Contrary to most Louisiana natives' beliefs, the speed limit on roads without traffic lights does not increase.
# Just because you're 45 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as you want. At least that's what the cops told me during a curfew stop.
# Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.
# People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.
# When required, a Lincoln Continental will float - doesn't steer well, but floats just the same.
# Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.
# Tele-marketers function no matter what the weather is doing.
# Cell phones work when land lines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.
# 27 of your neighbors are getting power from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!
# Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.
# If my store sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and generators...I'd be rich.
# The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane.
# Tree service companies are under appreciated.
# I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout.
# MATH 101: 30 days in month, minus 6 days without power equals 30% higher electric bill ?????
#Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's worthless.
# The bathroom fan does not work unless you have power.
# The first few days without power can go fine... But after that, the one you love gets VERY annoying VERY fast...
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
.....get ready for another big one!
|
Posted:Aug 26, 2008 6:00 am
Last Updated:Aug 27, 2008 9:58 am
30764 Views
|
.... Lace up your boots and get out there and prepare! This just came across every computer terminal in a chemical refinery along the Gulf Coast! Hurricane Gustav is headed into the Gulf Of Mexico. You heard me. It is projected to skirt south of Cuba, being pushed westward by a high pressure system over Florida. It will become a cat. 2 sometime today or tomorrow, and is projected to strengthen when it hits the open warm waters of the gulf. What does that mean to you? By gas now, stock up on bottled water and dried goods, load the freezer, and just for you louisianians...... (this is so sad!) .... the Budweiser plant has loaded trucks and is prepared to overstock shelves with Bud Light!
..... As much as I joke about this stuff, this is real! Good luck to you all, I never evacuate, because they need me here to rescue, and recover after each and every storm. If you leave, leave early. If you stay, make sure you have my number in case of an emergency. You all know I'm crazy, but I'm also crazy enough, and dependable enough, to come get you! I will try not to get locked into a plant this time, so I will be available..... the following is the most up to date I can find on youtube, but if you go to weather channel dot com, you can see it for yourself.
http://AdultXXXDate.com=6584&collection=topstory&from=hp_news
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
About living, in Louisiana.......
|
Posted:Jul 30, 2008 12:54 pm
Last Updated:Apr 17, 2024 11:1 pm
29079 Views
|
Most of these are pretty accurate and quite a bit funny and I am sure most people can relate.
Here are some ways to know if you're a true Louisianian...
1.
You can properly pronounce Lafayette, Bossier, Natchitoches,
Opelousas, Shongaloo, Pontchartrain, Ouachita, and you know
that New Orleans doesn't have a long "e" sound anywhere in it
2.
You think people who complain about the heat in their states
are pussies.
3.
A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard
and look for a funnel.
4.
You know that the true value of a parking space is not
determined by the distance to the door, but by the
availability of shade.
5. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals.
7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
8. You measure distance in minutes.
9.
Little Smokies are something you serve only for special
occasions.
10.
You go to the lake because you think it is like going to
the ocean.
11.
You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an
outfit.
12. You know cowpatties are not made of beef.
13.
Someone you know has used a LSU football schedule to
plan their wedding date.
14.
You have known someone who has a belt buckle bigger
than your fist.
15.
You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and
bait all in the same store.
16. A Mercedes Benz isn't a status symbol.
A Ford F-250
Extended Bed Crew Cab Powerstroke is a status symbol.
17. You know everything goes better with 'Tony's'.
18.
You learned how to shoot a gun before you learned how
to multiply
19.
You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them
to your friends.
20. You're not offended by the term "coonass".
" If anything,
it's a compliment.
Finally, you are 100% Louisianian if you have ever had this
conversation:
"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah.
"What kind?"
"Dr Pepper"
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Is it the NBA, or NFL?????
|
Posted:Jul 16, 2008 7:50 pm
Last Updated:Jul 16, 2008 7:50 pm
29111 Views
|
Is It NBA Or NFL?
36
have been accused of spousal abuse
7
have been arrested for fraud
19
have been accused of writing bad checks
117
have directly or indirectly
bankrupted at least 2 businesses
3
have done time for assault
71,
repeat
71 cannot
get a credit card due to bad credit
14
have been arrested on drug-related charges
8
have been arrested for shoplifting
21
currently
are defendants in lawsuits, and
84
have been arrested for drunk driving
in
the last year
Can
you guess which organization this is?
Give
up yet? . .
Scroll down,
and we wonder what is happening to society
Neither,
it's the 435 members of the
United States Congress
The
same group of Idiots that crank out
hundreds of new laws each year
designed to keep the rest of us in line.
You
gotta pass this one on!
p.s., the pic has absolutely nothing to do with this post. I was just traumatized when I saw it!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
..... Stop the world please.... I'll walk from here.....
|
Posted:Jun 1, 2008 2:50 pm
Last Updated:Jul 11, 2009 5:49 am
30952 Views
|
....... quick update. Working nights....... n'uff said! Yes I work every night! EVERY! Will be like this until sometime in July. In other news.... checking on a new bike, bought a friend who needed it a car, Corvette owner is making an offer thats hard to turn down, buying new performance packages and looks upgrades for the Firebird, haven't had more than 4 hours of sleep any day (its hard for me to sleep with the sun up), getting around to visiting and having lunch with all of my friends I haven't seen in a while. Planning a trip to Pennsylvania, later this summer, with a stop in South Carolina. Other than that, everyday is Monday. Until you work seven days a week, 13hrs a day, you will never fully understand that last statement. I hope each and every one of you is having a wonderful day!
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
|
|
a few things about me
|
Posted:Apr 9, 2008 1:49 pm
Last Updated:Jan 10, 2010 10:30 pm
28974 Views
|
.. I’ve wanted to do this for a while.
I am catholic. I have attended church on a regular basis before, and I DO believe there is a God.
I am a realist, when you are optimistic, I am getting ready for the roof to cave in, and making a safe place for you to stand.
If you are my friend (read Family) Its me and you against the world.
I am loyal to a fault. I will never betray you, and when you need me the most, I will be right there.
Love to me means, I will do everything in my power to make you happy. Even if it makes me miserable.
I love my friends ( see above), so messing with them, is messing with me.
I dont like cruel people, if you hurt small or animals or those that cant do for themselves; I will track you, hunt you, corner you, and exact 3lbs of flesh, in return for your gifts to society.
I will kill for those that I love. Read that again if you must, and understand that.
I rarely say things that have a double meaning. I am honest to the point of meanness. I would rather tell you the truth, than have to explain a lie later.
I have been dead, legally dead twice in this lifetime so far.
I have been betrayed by my best friend. Cheated on and left by the woman I love, while she was pregnant with my at the time. Run over by a car. Stabbed during a drug deal. Shot after a fight, and kicked and beaten with a baseball bat. I still find a reason to smile everyday.
I cant swim, but have done emergency rescue in extreme cold water conditions.
If you betray me, or do me wrong, I forgive you instantly, but I never forget. Ever.
I have plenty of female friends, and a few close guy friends, men that understand everything you just read.
I will die for what I believe in. Friends, family, and love. I love the United States, because I have been to other places where freedom isnt an option.
Just a few things, to help you better understand, my weird, and quirky ways.
I have never been in a completely stable relationship, that I wasnt accused of cheating on her. Later they all realized, I dont cheat. I give advice on relationships to all my friends, and dont have one myself.
If you take only one thing from this, remember communication is the key. Be honest, clear and concise. Will you still get hurt, maybe, but at least you will know where you stand, and who you are!
Okay, going babysit!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (willing2tryit42) use [blog willing2tryit42] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
171
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
|
