Different degrees of separation  

bigblackman21221 47M  
460 posts
2/27/2018 4:40 pm
Different degrees of separation


I will have been separated for nine years on March 2nd 2018.
During this time I have not talked to my wife and have only seen her once from a distance.

I recently had a conversation with a member from this site about my marital status.
She kept emphasizing that I was technically still married and that I was cheating if I had sex with other women. She also inquired as to why I didn't just get a divorce.

I let this member know that if I had any intentions on getting back together with her that I would have at least talked to her since I left. I haven't gotten a divorce because the step kids would benefit financially if something happened to me.
Also, I paid for everything that had anything to do with our wedding.
If she wants a divorce before the step kids are grown she can pay for it.

My question for anyone that cares to comment is.....

Are there different degrees of separation to you?



bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 4:41 pm




Naughtypursuit 50F  
1266 posts
2/27/2018 5:19 pm

Divorce is expensive I know I paid....lol.

There are definitely degrees of separation. I have chatted with " we are separated but I still live at home but sleep in a separate bed" to men in the same situation as you.

If it works for both of you then there is no need to change. You don't need a piece of paper to say you are married or divorced both are just reasons for people to make money off of you.

The only time it would be come an issue is if either of you decided to live with someone else. Then the insurance/financials can get muddy.


Heathen_G 59M
4843 posts
2/27/2018 5:37 pm

Change your marital status to single, and do away with bitches , who won't fuck anyway, ruining your mellow.


papis_baby_girl 42F  
4009 posts
2/27/2018 5:58 pm

depends on what I'm looking for...

if I fall head over heels in love with The King and want to pursue something serious then no deal...

if I want to just fuck you, throw you out of my house afterward, and that's it... then sure why not.

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say."
-Anais Nin

"I am big, it's the pictures that got small!"
-Norma Desmond


traveljunkie13 50F
10303 posts
2/27/2018 6:16 pm

There are degrees to everything if we want to be dicks about it. I'm wondering why it was any of her business why you hadn't filed for divorce. I've never been married and I know how freaking expensive divorce is. Plus you're being a decent guy in taking care of the step-kids the way you are.


redrockrascal 59M
17908 posts
2/27/2018 6:33 pm

Nothing is black and white . . . uhmmm well you know what I mean . There are varying degrees in just about everything on Earth. People who don't know/understand that aren't worth the effort. Well, unless she gives great head.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 6:44 pm

    Quoting MyAssNotFatEnuf:
    That's very generous and decent of you to care about the step-kids. They're lucky to have you in their life even if it's just financially. Good men are hard to find.

    A good man is hard to find.
    A hard man is good to find.
Thanks B.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 6:48 pm

    Quoting  :

In this case being married and not actually together is an understatement.


2Saltie2 61F  
147 posts
2/27/2018 6:49 pm

To me being seperated is still being married. You have your reasons for not getting a divorce . What you do is your business. Nobody is a angel. Some just like to think they are.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 6:50 pm

    Quoting  :

Open marriage?

She has a live in boyfriend.
She didn't ask me if it was okay. Not like she could if she wanted to anyway.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 6:56 pm

    Quoting Naughtypursuit:
    Divorce is expensive I know I paid....lol.

    There are definitely degrees of separation. I have chatted with " we are separated but I still live at home but sleep in a separate bed" to men in the same situation as you.

    If it works for both of you then there is no need to change. You don't need a piece of paper to say you are married or divorced both are just reasons for people to make money off of you.

    The only time it would be come an issue is if either of you decided to live with someone else. Then the insurance/financials can get muddy.
My divorce, which would be uncontested, wouldn't be expensive at all.

Trump and his wife sleep in separate beds.

She lives with someone, it doesn't affect me in any way financially.
Any insurance money would go to the kids when they turn 18.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 7:02 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Change your marital status to single, and do away with bitches , who won't fuck anyway, ruining your mellow.
HAHA!!!

I think I'll keep the profile the way it is. I have thought about doing that years ago but decided that honesty is a better trait.

My mellow was sufficiently ruined until I left her.
Got it back on track the same day though.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 7:04 pm

    Quoting CerebralKitten:
    Separated for years and only remaining married for the financial benefits? That is NOT cheating on your wife. You can't cheat on someone you're not in a relationship with.
My thoughts exactly.

I'm not the one that benefits financially either.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 7:12 pm

    Quoting papis_baby_girl:
    depends on what I'm looking for...

    if I fall head over heels in love with The King and want to pursue something serious then no deal...

    if I want to just fuck you, throw you out of my house afterward, and that's it... then sure why not.
if I fall head over heels in love with The King and want to pursue something serious then no deal...

You falling head over heels in love with The King is something serious.
What deal are you referring to?

if I want to just fuck you, throw you out of my house afterward, and that's it... then sure why not.

Fuck me and throw me out afterwards?
Are you even capable of such a thing?

Why not what?


Heathen_G 59M
4843 posts
2/27/2018 7:14 pm

    Quoting bigblackman21221:
    HAHA!!!

    I think I'll keep the profile the way it is. I have thought about doing that years ago but decided that honesty is a better trait.

    My mellow was sufficiently ruined until I left her.
    Got it back on track the same day though.
decided that honesty is a better trait. .... No... Being honest chases away too much pussy.

They're just going to bang you one or two times anyway, they don't need to know your personal business of being married, but separated...supporting a woman and some other guys problems. That's not going to get you laid. ........Just change it to "Single", and score more.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 7:23 pm

    Quoting traveljunkie13:
    There are degrees to everything if we want to be dicks about it. I'm wondering why it was any of her business why you hadn't filed for divorce. I've never been married and I know how freaking expensive divorce is. Plus you're being a decent guy in taking care of the step-kids the way you are.
I'm wondering why it was any of her business why you hadn't filed for divorce.

She probably gave thought to having sex with me.

My divorce wouldn't be that expensive.

For the record I'm not taking care of them financially, it's just that if I die they will get a nice chunk of cash. I keep track of all of them just to make sure they aren't doing bad. Her boyfriend seems to be a good provider. Not better than I was but you know......

Thanks for stopping by and commenting.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 7:42 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    Nothing is black and white . . . uhmmm well you know what I mean . There are varying degrees in just about everything on Earth. People who don't know/understand that aren't worth the effort. Well, unless she gives great head.
HAHA!!!

and swallows.


redrockrascal 59M
17908 posts
2/27/2018 7:46 pm

Well yeah. It ain't great if she don't swallow.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 7:53 pm

    Quoting 2Saltie2:
    To me being seperated is still being married. You have your reasons for not getting a divorce . What you do is your business. Nobody is a angel. Some just like to think they are.
Being separated is still being married.

After reading your comment, why did I know that if I looked at your profile I would see an X by race?

Thanks for stopping by.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 8:21 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    decided that honesty is a better trait. .... No... Being honest chases away too much pussy.

    They're just going to bang you one or two times anyway, they don't need to know your personal business of being married, but separated...supporting a woman and some other guys problems. That's not going to get you laid. ........Just change it to "Single", and score more.
HAHA!!! I love when you comment on my posts G.

No... Being honest chases away too much pussy.

What do I have to put on the profile to chase away more pussy?
I don't even want to log in some days. This shit is like a job sometimes.

They're just going to bang you one or two times anyway, they don't need to know your personal business of being married, but separated supporting a woman and some other guys problems.

Offline my situation hasn't been a barrier to getting laid.
I don't support them but would if I felt it was necessary.
My step kids were never a problem, I liked them more than they wife.

That's not going to get you laid. ........Just change it to "Single", and score more.

I don't want to score more, I want to score less.
Getting laid is not a problem. As a matter of fact it's too easy. I need a challenge.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/27/2018 8:27 pm

    Quoting redrockrascal:
    Well yeah. It ain't great if she don't swallow.
HAHA!!!

I don't really care what they do with it as long as they don't let any get on me. Ewww


Heathen_G 59M
4843 posts
2/27/2018 11:28 pm

    Quoting bigblackman21221:
    HAHA!!! I love when you comment on my posts G.

    No... Being honest chases away too much pussy.

    What do I have to put on the profile to chase away more pussy?
    I don't even want to log in some days. This shit is like a job sometimes.

    They're just going to bang you one or two times anyway, they don't need to know your personal business of being married, but separated supporting a woman and some other guys problems.

    Offline my situation hasn't been a barrier to getting laid.
    I don't support them but would if I felt it was necessary.
    My step kids were never a problem, I liked them more than they wife.

    That's not going to get you laid. ........Just change it to "Single", and score more.

    I don't want to score more, I want to score less.
    Getting laid is not a problem. As a matter of fact it's too easy. I need a challenge.
What do I have to put on the profile to chase away more pussy? ... "Married, looking for more hos". That should do it.

I liked them more than they wife. ... She was counting on that.

I need a challenge. .... "Married , looking for more hos"...That'll make it a challenge.


BiggLala 46F  
21829 posts
2/28/2018 8:04 am

I don't understand why you're still married to her in order to benefit her children in case something happens to you. By what you've said, it sounds like they're beneficiaries on a life insurance policy. Yes? If so, that doesn't make sense to me to remain married to her.

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bigblackman21221 replies on 2/28/2018 9:59 am:
Quoting:
I don't understand why you're still married to her in order to benefit her children in case something happens to you. By what you've said, it sounds like they're beneficiaries on a life insurance policy. Yes?

No.

If so, that doesn't make sense to me to remain married to her.

It wouldn't if that were the case.

wantpusanddik 33F  
36 posts
2/28/2018 8:55 am

I don't care that you are separated. I just want more of that BBC


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/28/2018 10:00 am

    Quoting wantpusanddik:
    I don't care that you are separated. I just want more of that BBC



BiggLala 46F  
21829 posts
2/28/2018 10:28 am

It wouldn't if that were the case.
-Okay.

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vopesahe 56F  
20366 posts
2/28/2018 11:00 am

You have your reasons for not getting a divorce. It is no relationship so it is not cheating on your wife.

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bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/28/2018 11:06 am

    Quoting vopesahe:
    You have your reasons for not getting a divorce. It is no relationship so it is not cheating on your wife.
Ich stimme total sexy Frau.

Sie hat einen Freund, das ist mir egal.

Vielen Dank für Ihren Kommentar.


Jadore929 56F  
6 posts
2/28/2018 3:06 pm

sounds to me that you are a very thoughtful man and I agree if she wants a divorce she surely can pay for it since you covered the whole wedding...Fair is fair , there are different degrees of separation to me because some married couples these days never part and cotinue to live with each other for years and be in sexless marraiges...Physically they are together but mentally the marriage have been over or years but they may need each other to make the bills or either to have health insurance which they may not have if they got divorced..Not to mention in court most times the husband has to take a short because men get ripped apart from their children and lose their homes then have to pay for their wife to live on without them.....To me this is very unfair because just because a woman has children does not make her the better parent......Just my thoughts


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/28/2018 4:13 pm

    Quoting Jadore929:
    sounds to me that you are a very thoughtful man and I agree if she wants a divorce she surely can pay for it since you covered the whole wedding...Fair is fair , there are different degrees of separation to me because some married couples these days never part and cotinue to live with each other for years and be in sexless marraiges...Physically they are together but mentally the marriage have been over or years but they may need each other to make the bills or either to have health insurance which they may not have if they got divorced..Not to mention in court most times the husband has to take a short because men get ripped apart from their children and lose their homes then have to pay for their wife to live on without them.....To me this is very unfair because just because a woman has children does not make her the better parent......Just my thoughts
I lived with her for two months after I told her I was leaving so she could save money or find a roommate. What a nightmare.
I think I made a better parent than she did but they weren't my kids so I couldn't take them with me.

Thanks for commenting sexy.


japaneseass 50F  
46031 posts
2/28/2018 4:44 pm

i don't consider your situation as "cheating"...fuck i did that when i was going though my divorce...and back then, i didn't consider myself was a cheater...

when i started to live separated, i was 100% sure we were through....i knew i would never take him back, once i decided we were done...

but way before that, it was actually my ex who left me, although we were even living under the same roof...and yes, we were having sex regularly and resuming all the normal life as normal married couple would do...i was that naive...and blind...i was in the denial...
but from what i found out, he always had multiple sex partners...

and as far as i know, during our 12 year marriage, he had at least 10 different females...it's probably more but he won't tell, and this is as far as i was able to dig down to...

and he knocked one up...and that was the last straw broke the camel's back...

he was even fucking his ex wife, regularly, when we were married....and he did not bother to disclose this information to me, when he propose me????

why? now i consider this as a cheating...

so what i would do???

i started to live by myself with our daughter and i went to fuck someone else and make myself happy...of course, just for sex...i wasn't looking for anything serious...fuck i was just coming out of the nasty marriage, whey would i even want to go back in the serious relationship???

and mind you, my ex never even helped me financially...

but i always told my situation to the men i fucked...and for the record, i never got hooked because i needed financial support from those men...

i did it...because i needed to be me again...and sexually satisfied...and happy...

probably people who have never gone though the process don't realize, but divorce CAN BE complicated...

in our case, since the divorce must be filed in the original place where we got married, it was very hard and a long process...

we both were living a few counties away, and just the traveling time and the cost of hiring an attorney in the different location, and the regular communication with my attorney, was bit too much...of course, my ex contested, so the case dragged out as much as it could...fuck he even reported me to HRS for child abuse...of course the case was unfounded, but dragging my daughter into his shit was unacceptable as a parent...yes, he was an ass...

you are not alone...i have heard from a few male members on this site...they are going though the same situation...but for me, that is not really a problem...

if i were you, i would not change the marital status to single, yet...now that would put you as a liar...i would rather appreciate the honesty...and your current situation is not really a problem...at least for me...i totally dig your situation...

what ever works for you is fine...my best wishes, the king...


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
2/28/2018 6:33 pm

    Quoting japaneseass:
    i don't consider your situation as "cheating"...fuck i did that when i was going though my divorce...and back then, i didn't consider myself was a cheater...

    when i started to live separated, i was 100% sure we were through....i knew i would never take him back, once i decided we were done...

    but way before that, it was actually my ex who left me, although we were even living under the same roof...and yes, we were having sex regularly and resuming all the normal life as normal married couple would do...i was that naive...and blind...i was in the denial...
    but from what i found out, he always had multiple sex partners...

    and as far as i know, during our 12 year marriage, he had at least 10 different females...it's probably more but he won't tell, and this is as far as i was able to dig down to...

    and he knocked one up...and that was the last straw broke the camel's back...

    he was even fucking his ex wife, regularly, when we were married....and he did not bother to disclose this information to me, when he propose me????

    why? now i consider this as a cheating...

    so what i would do???

    i started to live by myself with our daughter and i went to fuck someone else and make myself happy...of course, just for sex...i wasn't looking for anything serious...fuck i was just coming out of the nasty marriage, whey would i even want to go back in the serious relationship???

    and mind you, my ex never even helped me financially...

    but i always told my situation to the men i fucked...and for the record, i never got hooked because i needed financial support from those men...

    i did it...because i needed to be me again...and sexually satisfied...and happy...

    probably people who have never gone though the process don't realize, but divorce CAN BE complicated...

    in our case, since the divorce must be filed in the original place where we got married, it was very hard and a long process...

    we both were living a few counties away, and just the traveling time and the cost of hiring an attorney in the different location, and the regular communication with my attorney, was bit too much...of course, my ex contested, so the case dragged out as much as it could...fuck he even reported me to HRS for child abuse...of course the case was unfounded, but dragging my daughter into his shit was unacceptable as a parent...yes, he was an ass...

    you are not alone...i have heard from a few male members on this site...they are going though the same situation...but for me, that is not really a problem...

    if i were you, i would not change the marital status to single, yet...now that would put you as a liar...i would rather appreciate the honesty...and your current situation is not really a problem...at least for me...i totally dig your situation...

    what ever works for you is fine...my best wishes, the king...
You are a very strong woman.
That's a lot of bullshit to go through. I'm glad you made it through it all okay.

If I wanted to get a divorce it would be inexpensive and easy because she has no grounds to contest it and they aren't my biological children.

I've never had any issues with women because of my marital status so I'm grateful for that.

Thanks for sharing M.


unykorn 59F  
717 posts
2/28/2018 7:50 pm

There are degrees to just about everything these days and it is extremely rare to find something that is strictly black and white.

Officially you are still married but morally you have moved on. In the situation you describe it makes you an extremely generous person to keep the paperwork in place so that kids that aren't yours can benefit from it. I take it that is for health insurance, dental cover etc. A very generous person indeed. I wouldn't have a problem with someone in your situation doing that, not at all. And I'd have no doubt that you'd end the situation if you ever found anyone that you wanted a permanent relationship with. So no problem. And no I don't consider it cheating when you have no dealing with your unofficial ex.

Unfortunately some people are just too insecure in themselves to ever believe the situation is exactly what you say it is.


whore4bbcinmd 48M/57F  
48 posts
3/1/2018 9:07 am

your situation doesn't bother me at all


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/1/2018 9:48 am

    Quoting unykorn:
    There are degrees to just about everything these days and it is extremely rare to find something that is strictly black and white.

    Officially you are still married but morally you have moved on. In the situation you describe it makes you an extremely generous person to keep the paperwork in place so that kids that aren't yours can benefit from it. I take it that is for health insurance, dental cover etc. A very generous person indeed. I wouldn't have a problem with someone in your situation doing that, not at all. And I'd have no doubt that you'd end the situation if you ever found anyone that you wanted a permanent relationship with. So no problem. And no I don't consider it cheating when you have no dealing with your unofficial ex.

    Unfortunately some people are just too insecure in themselves to ever believe the situation is exactly what you say it is.
I haven't had a problem with anyone believing me. It is what it is.

It's just that the person I had the conversation with thought it was cheating.
I had to respectfully disagree.

Thanks for commenting sexy!


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/1/2018 9:49 am

HAHA!!
I didn't expect to get a comment from you. I knew it wouldn't bother you.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting K.


BoredInTheBoro70 47F
24 posts
3/1/2018 2:58 pm

My husband and I were together since 1999. Everything was cool and groovy until our daughter was diagnosed with a disability in 2012. Things starting falling apart in the three years that followed because she needed more attention than him. He left us in May 2015 because caring for a disabled child got to be too hard (he should try caring for a disabled child ALONE...it ain't no picnic....anyhoo).

I NEVER cheated on him while we were together.

I waited almost a month after he left before I called a Friend and said, "Get your ass over here...I need to work out some frustration!"

I thought I would feel guilty afterwards. I thought I would feel like I was cheating.

But I didn't.

I didn't feel like I was cheating because I knew for a FACT I was not taking him back. I knew I was going to file for a divorce. It was OVER.

I continued to see that FWB for a few months. Eventually I started casually dating someone after almost 9 months of being separated.

My Ex found out and FLIPPED OUT on me.

He called me every foul name you can call a woman.

It didn't phase me though because he left US....And I was never taking him back.

So my opinion is to each their own. Everyone's situation is different. For me, when it's over, it's over. I don't need a piece of paper to say it's over.

And I must ask...did this person who thinks you are cheating also believe that a man and woman should wait until they have a legal piece of paper before they have sex? (Ie, a marriage certificate) Cause it's kinda hypocrisy, in mho, to require a piece of paper to say you are divorced and allow you to have sex with someone but not feel you should wait for that marriage certificate to fornicate.....


Heathen_G 59M
4843 posts
3/1/2018 4:29 pm

    Quoting BoredInTheBoro70:
    My husband and I were together since 1999. Everything was cool and groovy until our daughter was diagnosed with a disability in 2012. Things starting falling apart in the three years that followed because she needed more attention than him. He left us in May 2015 because caring for a disabled child got to be too hard (he should try caring for a disabled child ALONE...it ain't no picnic....anyhoo).

    I NEVER cheated on him while we were together.

    I waited almost a month after he left before I called a Friend and said, "Get your ass over here...I need to work out some frustration!"

    I thought I would feel guilty afterwards. I thought I would feel like I was cheating.

    But I didn't.

    I didn't feel like I was cheating because I knew for a FACT I was not taking him back. I knew I was going to file for a divorce. It was OVER.

    I continued to see that FWB for a few months. Eventually I started casually dating someone after almost 9 months of being separated.

    My Ex found out and FLIPPED OUT on me.

    He called me every foul name you can call a woman.

    It didn't phase me though because he left US....And I was never taking him back.

    So my opinion is to each their own. Everyone's situation is different. For me, when it's over, it's over. I don't need a piece of paper to say it's over.

    And I must ask...did this person who thinks you are cheating also believe that a man and woman should wait until they have a legal piece of paper before they have sex? (Ie, a marriage certificate) Cause it's kinda hypocrisy, in mho, to require a piece of paper to say you are divorced and allow you to have sex with someone but not feel you should wait for that marriage certificate to fornicate.....
You, or anyone, can cheat whenever they feel like cheating..... there is no rule regarding cheating, only some , or much of , butt hurt people saying, "It's wrong".

As I've said before, "To cheat, all you need is a reason, and an opportunity". ... sometimes you don't even need a rational reason, just an opportunity.

Anyway, 16 years of marriage, these days, is a whole lot better than the average life span of a marriage. People seem to think marriage doesn't have an expiration limit. It does.


bigblackman21221 replies on 3/2/2018 3:58 pm:
Anyway, 16 years of marriage, these days, is a whole lot better than the average life span of a marriage. People seem to think marriage doesn't have an expiration limit. It does.

Mine had a two year expiration date.

bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/2/2018 12:35 pm

    Quoting BoredInTheBoro70:
    My husband and I were together since 1999. Everything was cool and groovy until our daughter was diagnosed with a disability in 2012. Things starting falling apart in the three years that followed because she needed more attention than him. He left us in May 2015 because caring for a disabled child got to be too hard (he should try caring for a disabled child ALONE...it ain't no picnic....anyhoo).

    I NEVER cheated on him while we were together.

    I waited almost a month after he left before I called a Friend and said, "Get your ass over here...I need to work out some frustration!"

    I thought I would feel guilty afterwards. I thought I would feel like I was cheating.

    But I didn't.

    I didn't feel like I was cheating because I knew for a FACT I was not taking him back. I knew I was going to file for a divorce. It was OVER.

    I continued to see that FWB for a few months. Eventually I started casually dating someone after almost 9 months of being separated.

    My Ex found out and FLIPPED OUT on me.

    He called me every foul name you can call a woman.

    It didn't phase me though because he left US....And I was never taking him back.

    So my opinion is to each their own. Everyone's situation is different. For me, when it's over, it's over. I don't need a piece of paper to say it's over.

    And I must ask...did this person who thinks you are cheating also believe that a man and woman should wait until they have a legal piece of paper before they have sex? (Ie, a marriage certificate) Cause it's kinda hypocrisy, in mho, to require a piece of paper to say you are divorced and allow you to have sex with someone but not feel you should wait for that marriage certificate to fornicate.....
Damn. That was a messed up situation.

When I left her it was definitely over. i got laid the same day.

And I must ask...did this person who thinks you are cheating also believe that a man and woman should wait until they have a legal piece of paper before they have sex?

Yes. It's crazy because she was in a similar situation as you and her seeing someone else wasn't a problem.

Thanks for sharing S.


Zara_thustra 55F
5306 posts
3/4/2018 8:26 am

I was separated for seven years, before I finally got a divorce, because my ex-husband 'just wasn't ready' to divorce. I asked for the divorced, so I let him have time to get used to it, because he took it very hard. I lived separate and apart from my ex-husband for seven years. No, that's not married.

Marriage is a piece of fucking paper. Commitment is not paper.





bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/4/2018 3:30 pm

    Quoting Zara_thustra:
    I was separated for seven years, before I finally got a divorce, because my ex-husband 'just wasn't ready' to divorce. I asked for the divorced, so I let him have time to get used to it, because he took it very hard. I lived separate and apart from my ex-husband for seven years. No, that's not married.

    Marriage is a piece of fucking paper. Commitment is not paper.
There is always some time between separating and actually being divorced.

When it's over it's over.

Marriage is a piece of fucking paper. Commitment is not paper.

Agreed.

Thanks for commenting.


Heathen_G 59M
4843 posts
3/6/2018 6:38 pm

Marriage IS a piece of fucking paper , and only should be signed if you're really damn sure you should be signing it for a good reason. ....and really, there is very rarely a good reason. [and you can't say "Love", because "Love" is not a good reason].


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/6/2018 8:03 pm

    Quoting  :

I did too.

Thanks for commenting.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/6/2018 8:31 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Marriage IS a piece of fucking paper , and only should be signed if you're really damn sure you should be signing it for a good reason. ....and really, there is very rarely a good reason. [and you can't say "Love", because "Love" is not a good reason].
All of us get married for different reasons.
All that have signed and it didn't work out wonder if it was for the right reasons.

Love might not be a good reason on it's own but I think it the most popular one.
I also think it's the most important reason.

What I said:

I, Michael, take you, Selena, to be my lawfully wedded (wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

I admit I couldn't keep my end of the bargain.
The "for worse", until death do us part.
I can't voluntarily be unhappy that length of time.


BitchInHeatMd 43F  
35 posts
3/7/2018 4:14 pm

I was separated for three years before my divorce was finalized. We lived in the same house for a year and saw other people then. I do believe there are different degrees of separation.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/7/2018 4:35 pm

    Quoting BitchInHeatMd:
    I was separated for three years before my divorce was finalized. We lived in the same house for a year and saw other people then. I do believe there are different degrees of separation.
I couldn't live in the same house that would not work.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting.


Heathen_G 59M
4843 posts
3/7/2018 6:25 pm

    Quoting bigblackman21221:
    All of us get married for different reasons.
    All that have signed and it didn't work out wonder if it was for the right reasons.

    Love might not be a good reason on it's own but I think it the most popular one.
    I also think it's the most important reason.

    What I said:

    I, Michael, take you, Selena, to be my lawfully wedded (wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

    I admit I couldn't keep my end of the bargain.
    The "for worse", until death do us part.
    I can't voluntarily be unhappy that length of time.
Oh get real.. marriage is like buying a car. At sometime you will want to trade it in on a newer model.

Love is not even an important reason. Marriage is a contract. All kinds of arranged marriages have worked just as long and short as emotion based marriages.

As for the vow, it's ridiculous party rhetoric. We all say stupid shit when high on a feeling, but when you sign legal shit , high on a feeling, that's really stupid.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/8/2018 1:22 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    Oh get real.. marriage is like buying a car. At sometime you will want to trade it in on a newer model.

    Love is not even an important reason. Marriage is a contract. All kinds of arranged marriages have worked just as long and short as emotion based marriages.

    As for the vow, it's ridiculous party rhetoric. We all say stupid shit when high on a feeling, but when you sign legal shit , high on a feeling, that's really stupid.
Oh get real.. marriage is like buying a car. At sometime you will want to trade it in on a newer model.

My cousin said something similar.
He said, " Women are like cars, you'll get tired of them and want a new one"

Marriage is a contract. All kinds of arranged marriages have worked just as long and short as emotion based marriages.

I agree and you have something to blame it on. HAHA!!!

As for the vow, it's ridiculous party rhetoric. We all say stupid shit when high on a feeling, but when you sign legal shit , high on a feeling, that's really stupid.

If I ever get married again I will write my own.


Heathen_G 59M
4843 posts
3/8/2018 2:31 pm

    Quoting bigblackman21221:
    Oh get real.. marriage is like buying a car. At sometime you will want to trade it in on a newer model.

    My cousin said something similar.
    He said, " Women are like cars, you'll get tired of them and want a new one"

    Marriage is a contract. All kinds of arranged marriages have worked just as long and short as emotion based marriages.

    I agree and you have something to blame it on. HAHA!!!

    As for the vow, it's ridiculous party rhetoric. We all say stupid shit when high on a feeling, but when you sign legal shit , high on a feeling, that's really stupid.

    If I ever get married again I will write my own.
If I ever get married again I will write my own.... Just don't get married. Don't mess up your life based on a transitory feeling. For a man to get married today, is him just being foolish.

Anything a man wants , can be had , without signing a contract with a woman.


Heathen_G 59M
4843 posts
3/8/2018 2:37 pm

    Quoting bigblackman21221:
    Oh get real.. marriage is like buying a car. At sometime you will want to trade it in on a newer model.

    My cousin said something similar.
    He said, " Women are like cars, you'll get tired of them and want a new one"

    Marriage is a contract. All kinds of arranged marriages have worked just as long and short as emotion based marriages.

    I agree and you have something to blame it on. HAHA!!!

    As for the vow, it's ridiculous party rhetoric. We all say stupid shit when high on a feeling, but when you sign legal shit , high on a feeling, that's really stupid.

    If I ever get married again I will write my own.
My cousin said something similar. He said, " Women are like cars, you'll get tired of them and want a new one" .... Your cousin is right.


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/8/2018 5:45 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    If I ever get married again I will write my own.... Just don't get married. Don't mess up your life based on a transitory feeling. For a man to get married today, is him just being foolish.

    Anything a man wants , can be had , without signing a contract with a woman.
Anything a man wants , can be had , without signing a contract with a woman.

Apparently not a porn star but I guess David Dennison didn't sign so.......


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/8/2018 5:48 pm

    Quoting Heathen_G:
    My cousin said something similar. He said, " Women are like cars, you'll get tired of them and want a new one" .... Your cousin is right.
I've never gotten tired of a car but always want that shiny new model.


Myluvspcl 34M
42 posts
3/18/2018 1:57 pm

a great read..


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/18/2018 3:02 pm

Glad you enjoyed the post.


Idek2319 23M
6 posts
3/28/2018 11:44 am

Yeah separated is still married to me


bigblackman21221 47M  
4082 posts
3/29/2018 9:35 am

You would be correct.


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