Piquant Ruminations
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My Farewell to Arms
Posted:Feb 7, 2018 8:09 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2018 8:33 pm

I often regale my friends with the tale of my plan to retire to Key West, grow a white beard, and drink like Hemingway. So, it's appropriate that my retirement from Adult XXX Date has a Hemingway theme.

Like Fredric Henry, I met the woman (well several women but there was one that truly impacted my life (we’ll call her Catherine). I was chosen by Catherine and we were together for a time, and then I lost her (completely my fault). That experience changed the way I thought about my marriage, my extra-curricular relationships, and my life.

My relationship with Catherine went from being an amusement that distracted us from our less than idyllic marriages to the very fuel that sustained us. The love was powerful. The most powerful I had ever experienced. “I kissed her neck and shoulders. I felt faint with loving her so much.”

She harnessed that energy and did the arduous work necessary to get the life she wanted and so richly deserves. I envy her. I did not have the strength or the courage to choose that love. I could not bear the cost. I carry that inadequacy into the rain, broken and forever without her.

It has been more than a year since this happened and I chose monogamy, along with marriage counseling during his time to strengthen my marriage. I believed that I could steer my marriage in a more open direction. This was something my wife had and continues to have no interest in doing.

Which brings us to today and my exit from Adult XXX Date and the myriad online channels that offer opportunities to connect with all you wonderful like-minded deviants. Going back to cheating would be the natural choice and the easy choice. I did it for years undetected and there is no reason for me to think I wouldn't be just as (successful?) at it this go-round. But as Catherine so succinctly put it once, “you’re not very good at this”. Perhaps I am not very good at this at all, so it’s time to quit.

Those of you who know me outside of this site have my email address, let's endeavor to stay in touch.

As the old cliché goes, I hope you all find what you are seeking here. February 19th will be my final day to check in before my account goes back to standard and I close it down.

Ribald Amusement
Standard post, for standard members
Posted:Apr 12, 2017 4:54 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2018 8:09 pm
If you are a gold member, feel free to stop reading here. This regurgitation of my profile page is purely for those folks who haven't yet decided to "go for the gold".

I am a hedonist. I'm seeking that "ounce of excitement, that whisper of a thrill. I want to get swept away out there. I want to levitate. I want to sing with rapture & dance like a dervish…be deliriously happy or at least leave myself open to be".

If you would like to get to know me, read a few of my blog posts and then feel free to reach out. You will adore a conversation with me. Imagine being able to discuss your deepest desires and fears with a man who will not judge you and is only looking to help you find the pleasure you crave which in turn will satisfy his desires as well.


Sexual Orientation: Bi-sexual
Looking For: Women, men, and hedonists of all stripes
Hometown: Lake Worth, Florida, United States
Marital Status: Married
Swinger Type: Hedonist
Height: 6 ft 4 in
Body Type: A little extra padding
Smoking: I'm a non-smoker
Drinking: I'm a light/social drinker
Drugs: Don't use Drugs, well...alcohol, caffiene, aleve
Education: Formal yes, but always learning
Occupation: Executive
Race: Caucasian
Religion: Agnostic
Have Children: Yes - at home
Want Children: Happy with what they have
Male Endowment: Yes
Circumcised: Yes
Speaks: English
Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: Short
Glasses or Contacts: Glasses
Eye Color: Blue
Astrology: Very Scorpio
Personality Type: ENTJ also The General
Purity: 16% Pure, 84% Slut - don't judge

WARNING: Any institutions using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects - You do NOT have my permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a serious violation of my privacy.
1 comment
To all my "Dad Bod" brothers
Posted:Jan 31, 2018 6:48 am
Last Updated:Feb 1, 2018 2:42 am
If you are a middle aged, dad bod brother who went to Pantera concerts in college and moshed to Public Enemy and Anthrax, then this post is for you.

Leo Moracchioli.

The guy is a beast. He creates cover versions of today's pop music in a very thrashy metal way at his epic Leap Frog Studios. I assume Lead Frog is in Norway, because the videos on his you-tube channel feature shots of his home which appears to be filled with IKEA furniture.

Whether it's Adele's Hello, or Toto's Africa, he rocks out on drums, guitar and bass, sometimes bringing in fellow artists to assist in the production.

Put on your sennheisers (come on you're a man of the world stop using ear buds) and crank up the tunes.
Posted:Jan 17, 2018 4:43 am
Last Updated:Jan 21, 2018 4:53 am
I've decided to give my points away when my membership expires in February. I have exactly 16,000 points. Any suggestions on finding a worthy subject to receive these points?
How did I miss it?
Posted:Jan 13, 2018 7:36 am
Last Updated:Jan 13, 2018 3:12 pm
Yesterday was National Kiss a Ginger day. I sure hope those of you with permission had an opportunity to kiss a ginger. The greatest kiss I have ever experienced was with a ginger, well with "The" ginger!

Seems I'm a day late which recently has been my MO.
1 comment
Shiver in my bones just thinking about the weather
Posted:Jan 4, 2018 4:44 am
Last Updated:Jan 4, 2018 4:30 pm
I assume there is some biological system that makes us more affectionate and well, Horny when the weather turns this cold. I probably missed that fall semester lecture in college while I was busy rolling around with that sorority girl on the institutional mattress supplied to all dormitory denizens.

This certainly is cuddling weather and not a moment too soon considering that Jan 6 is National Cuddling Day.

Here in the great state of Florida it's snowing in the northern reaches of the state and wind chills below freezing are in store later today here in the southern part of the state. Our local meteorologist is predicting Zero percent chance of seeing "all those tourists covered in oil" on the beach today.

Stay warm Adult XXX Date'ers. Maybe get some early cuddling in.
This was fun, Myers Briggs resolutions
Posted:Jan 2, 2018 5:29 pm
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2018 6:07 am

“I resolve to make less than thirty new years resolutions this year, and keep at least two of them.”

Outcome: Stays up for fourteen straight days in an attempt to complete first resolution and subsequently ends up creating fifteen more.

“I resolve to be less regimented and spend more time relaxing.”

Outcome: Schedules relaxation between 3:15 and 3:42pm each afternoon, during which time they create detailed lists of how they will relax on following days.

“I resolve to party less… On weeknights… Before 5pm.”

Outcome: Drunkenly announces their resolution to five hundred of their closest friend on Thursday January 1st, at the bar, at 4pm.

“I resolve to screw over marginally less of my colleagues as I fearlessly charge towards success.”

Outcome: Keeps a detailed chart of co-workers they are not preying on. Eventually hires a colleague to manage this chart as a distraction while the ENTJ rises above them professionally.

I resolve to stop falling in love with the idea of people and being disappointed when their reality does not match up.

Outcome: Explains this resolution in a heartfelt letter to their love interest, who they just know will understand.

“I resolve to spend more time focusing on what I want instead of catering to the needs of others.”

Outcome: Mercilessly commits to this resolution until a loved one implies that it is inconveniencing them.

“I resolve to only turn only every second conversation into a heated dispute.”

Outcome: Finds an unsuspecting ESFJ to debate the practicality of this resolution with.

“I resolve to gossip less and accept others’ choices without judgment.”

Outcome: Phones their closest friend to ask what their resolution is and then phones fourteen of their other closest friends to discuss their first friend’s resolution in totally non-judgmental detail.

“I resolve to think through the consequences of my actions before I make them.”

Outcome: Adheres to their resolution for the first two – four days before being presented with a better plan and impulsively getting on board with that one instead.

“I resolve to listen to the opinions of my less intelligent underlings.”

Outcome: Derives motivation from the opinions of commoners to fuel a series of research projects that prove everyone’s opinions to be indisputably wrong.

“I resolve to give myself more credit for my talents and advocate for my own abilities.”

Outcome: Sits down to review their strengths, decides on twelve new ways in which their art form is imperfect and gets back to working on perfecting it.

“I resolve to find subtler ways of letting everyone know that my way is always best.”

Outcome: Loudly announces to colleagues that they all ought to make the same New Years resolution.

“I resolve to get serious about one of my side interests and turn it into a profitable enterprise.”

Outcome: Develops a keen side interest in entrepreneurship, which they thoroughly analyze and develop ideas about.

“I resolve to avoid meddling in the lives of my loved ones, even if they are making a mistake.”

Outcome: Allows their friends to fail at their new years resolutions, then sits each of them down to talk about what went wrong and how they can fix it.

“I resolve to find practical implications for my work since the physical world does, unfortunately, exist.”

Outcome: Derives a theoretical implication for the practicality of their latest project and considers their resolution a success.

“I resolve to be less of a perfectionist and share more of myself with others.”

Outcome: Refuses to disclose resolution to others, for fear that they will have to admit failure if they do not achieve it. TC mark
A different type of New Years countdown
Posted:Jan 1, 2018 8:26 pm
Last Updated:Jan 2, 2018 4:19 am
While poking around my profile today I noticed that my gold membership expires on February 19th this year. I have decided that I will be letting my membership lapse.

I've been a member here for more than a decade. I had in the past met a number of really fun people and while I do enjoy the blogging, and certainly enjoy reading others blogs, it's time to bring this chapter of my life to a close.

The clock is ticking down 50 days days to go...
1 comment
Fireside chat
Posted:Dec 31, 2017 6:54 am
Last Updated:Jan 1, 2018 7:58 am
It's New Years Eve and I'm certain there will be many posts about resolutions. I am not one to make resolutions as I tend to find them to be a tad futile. Picking an arbitrary date and deciding to make a life change simply doesn't work for the vast majority of us. Change comes when one is ready for change. How many times have you heard "I'll start my diet on Monday"? It's become a cliché.

So you won't find me expounding on what I will change for 2018. There are things I want to change and at some point this year they will.

In the meantime, I will enjoy some of the recent changes that have happened more organically. I purchased an espresso percolator. Can I just tell you that having ready access to cafe con leche or a colada at a moments notice is incredible! Why did I wait so long to treat myself to this device? It fell into that category of things I probably would not have bought for myself, but then an Amazon gift card arrived for Christmas and I splurged.

The other thing I added was a smart home hub. Thermostat, lights, all kinds of other gadgets. Yeah, big brother is all over this one but it took 30 more years for this Orwellian gadgetry to make it into my house then the book predicted. Well, 15 if you count cell phones.

As you may recall I had curtailed my group play activity a couple years ago to work on my marriage, which has gone remarkably well, and to open said marriage up to an honest lifestyle where we could both enjoy outside partners. This second part has not gone well at all. She has no interest in outside play and my desire for it has continued unabated.

So now my choices are to stay married and remain faithful, stay married and go back to cheating, or get divorced. The problem with number one is that I don't know that I can or want to go another year being monogamous, let alone another two. The problem with number three is that I love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her. We are a perfect fit on so many levels, excepting this one.

Of course,number two comes with it's own particular challenges. Although it seems when it comes to infidelity, I am somewhat of a professional. In all the years, twenty plus, that I was cheating she never once had a clue. She said it simply never occurred to her. Now of course the cat is out of the bag so to speak so perhaps it will be more challenging than it was in the past.

Something will happen in this part of my life this coming year. What it is, I do not know. In the mean time, I will enjoy my delicious coffee while sitting here enjoying the flames of my backyard fire pit. It's down to the 60's here and that's chilly for us! Sorry for that all you Canadian lovelies, but I couldn't resist.
I blame work...
Posted:Dec 22, 2017 3:04 pm
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2017 5:30 pm

After a seriously taxing week at work I decided to go check out a local swingers resort. My plan was to determine if this resort was suitable for a visit by me and the Mrs. So acting as a (out) or 'Oumuamua' (that's the name of the unknown 700' long phallic object that just cruised by earth) I drove the 38 or so miles to the resorts location. I was not here to p.l.a.y but simply to get the lay of the land...no pun intended.

I arrived only to dis.cover that there is no admittance without purchasing a room after 7pm, it was about 7:15pm and traffic had been horrible, even so I was not aware of this rule. This would be a good note for the website because the place is literally on lock down.

As I wandered the hotel parking lot hoping for an attendant or security to arrive a very attractive African American woman came around the corner and asked me if I knew where the entrance to the resort was located. In a similar boat, so to speak, I explained our predicament. We laughed about our bad luck and decided to go have a drink and dinner.

She was a lovely dinner date and about half way through she admitted that she was an e.s.c.o.r.t and that she usually didn't do "this" sort of thing. (cue the 70's porn music)

I said "you don't usually eat dinner?"

She said "I don't usually eat dinner with a man who isn't a client".

I walked her back to her car where she thanked me for dinner and then gave me a kiss, 2 in fact. Now I am by no means a connoisseur of professional ladies of the evening but I'm pretty sure that even in the movies, they don't kiss men randomly.

We exchanged contact info and we went our separate ways. By the way her "stage" name is Chamel'eon, her real name is in my Blackberry. You can c.o.n.t.a.c.t. her if you live in the area and you like uninhibited ladies. She would appreciate the referrals. Message me for her contact number. I know, so pimpy of me.

But I digress, the reason I blame work is because I am sitting here writing this post from the urgent care. As is typical of this time of year when the weather changes, I am having the beginnings of upper respiratory issues and an ounce of prevention will keep me from missing 3 weeks of work like last time.
Love’s a clown, now laugh my way
Posted:Dec 15, 2017 8:04 pm
Last Updated:Jan 17, 2018 1:46 pm

Just a quick post to say RIP to Pat Dinizio, lead singer of The Smithereens. Their music along with bands like Red 7, Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Level 42, Cutting Crew, The Human League, Depeche Mode, A-Ha, Howard Js, Bronski Beat and so many others were in heavy rotation at my college radio station in 1985 and 1986.

I’m not saying this was “great” music, but it was the soundtrack of my freshman and sophomore in college. While Patty Labelle, Peter Gabriel and Van Hagar…err Halen were at the top of the pop charts these bands lurked in the periphery. Their music blared in the beer soaked basements and floreent lit dorm rooms of campuses across the country.

It was long ago
Seems like yesterday
Saw you standing in the rain
Then I heard you say

I want to love but it comes out wrong
I want to live but I don't belong
I close my eyes and I see
Blood and roses

Love flowers in the springtime
October we were wed
In wintertime the roses died
The blood ran cold and then she said

I want to love but it comes out wrong
I want to live but I don't belong
I close my eyes and I see
Blood and roses

It was long ago
Seems like yesterday
Saw you standing in the rain
Then I heard you say

I need your love but it comes out wrong
I try to live but I don't belong
I close my eyes and I see
Blood and roses
Blood and roses
Blood and roses
Blood and roses
1 comment
My misogyny
Posted:Dec 1, 2017 6:21 am
Last Updated:Dec 13, 2017 1:44 am
Misogynist: A person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women.

Unless you have been avoiding media like the plague, you are no doubt aware of the mudslide of powerful, wealthy men who have oozed down from the hills and been dethroned after a particularly heavy cleansing rain of female empowerment.

This has raised a national debate about misogyny and harassment. I believe it must also raise the discussion of hormones and their effects on the human brain. My goal here is not to explain away the bad behavior of bad actors, but to understand that what may seem to be a conscious effort by highly successful and likely high testosterone males can result in unhealthy power dynamics in the workplace.

Let's take for example, Matt Lauer. He is a man who by all accounts has it made. A 20 year career as the co-anchor of the Today show making $20m a year. Mr. Lauer could very easily find sex of every variety and taste at his income level. Instead he jeopardizes this success by sexually harassing a line level female employee. It just doesn't make sense, until you begin looking at the effects of testosterone on the male brain. These men with higher "T" levels exhibit numerous real affects attributed to the hormone; aggression, high self-esteem and of specific interest a significant reduction in empathy and caring.

Dr. Peter Bo's of Utrecht University writes in regards to his study of testosterone on empathy, "Our findings thus reveal a neural mechanism by which testosterone can impair emotion-recognition ability".

In essence, these higher "T" level men are suffering from a mental disorder.

I am not implying that they should not be accountable for their actions, far from it. But they should be given the treatment and skills necessary to effectively manage their impulses. For these high profile men, that should be easily afforded. However for the High "T" men that have not achieved at those levels, insurance will have to cover and that is a blog for another day.

While I do not consider myself a misogynist, It is very likely that I have in the past acted in ways that could be considered prejudiced against women and therefore misogynistic. I have told dirty jokes to male colleagues around the "water cooler", I have commented on the appearance of women to other men. This is poor form and not the behavior of a gentleman.

I do not dislike women, in fact I adore women. But everyday when I interact with women I have to make a conscious effort to control my impulses. Every smile, hair flip, wink, touch on the arm, all the (what Most men consider) flirty behavior that I experience from female coworkers on a regular basis sends testosterone flowing madly through my system.

Please don't read this to mean that I excuse harassing behavior, my own or that of others, or that I am justifying it. I am hoping to open the discussion here in my blog to learn from others, both male and female about this ongoing issue.
Legal prostitution zones reduce incidents of sexual abuse
Posted:Nov 25, 2017 8:45 pm
Last Updated:Nov 27, 2017 4:13 am
by Alison Bass, Contributor Huffington Post

A few years ago, researchers at UCLA and Baylor University made a stunning find: When the Rhode Island legislature inadvertently decriminalized indoor prostitution for a number of years, that state saw a 31 percent decline in reported ("R" words) and a similar decline in cases of gonorrhea.

Now comes a new Dutch study that finds much the same causal relationship between decriminalizing prostitution and reducing crime. Researchers at a public research institute in the Netherlands discovered that when major cities in that country opened tippelzones, or areas where street prostitutes could work legally, reports of (the "R" word) and sexual abuse declined by as much as 30 to 40 percent in the first two years after the zones were opened. In cities that licensed the prostitutes permitted to work in these tippelzones, ("R" words) and sexual abuse dropped by as much as 40 percent, while the reductions in sexual violence were slightly lower in zones that did not enforce the licensing of sex workers.

While the researchers were unable to pinpoint exactly which women were spared by the opening of the tippelzones, the researchers concluded that legalizing prostitution in these areas led “to a decrease in sexual violence on women more generally by providing an anonymous, appealing and easily accessible outlet for sex to otherwise violent individuals.”

This, of course, is what I argued in my book, Getting Screwed: Sex Workers and the Law, and what sex work advocates have been saying for years. When prostitution is decriminalized and regulated to some extent, as it is in the Dutch tippelzones, sexual predators are less likely to strike at random women. And because police monitoring is higher in tippelzones than in other areas of the city, predators who pay for sex tend to rein in their more violent behaviors. As Maddy, a Washington, D.C. escort I interviewed for my book, says, ““Sex work can be real preventative of sexual abuse — clients can indulge their fantasies with us rather than with other women or children.”

Elle St. Claire, a sex worker from Massachusetts, put it another way: [Sex work] is a healthy release for people who don’t feel comfortable getting help any other way,” she says. “This is why you have sexual predators and stalkers. Unhealthy sexuality manifests itself in all of those crimes.”

The Dutch researchers, whose findings will be published in the American Economic Journal, also found significant reductions in drug-related crime. In cities with both a tippelzone and a licensing requirement, for instance, they found a 25 percent reduction in drug-related crimes within two years. As the researchers note:

In general, the results on registered and perceived drug crime in cities which enforced licensed tippelzones suggest that local governments successfully achieved their goal of reducing drug crime overall in the city.

Unfortunately, a number of major Dutch cities, such as Amsterdam and Rotterdam, have since closed their tippelzones, which may explain why the initial gains in reducing sexual violence found in this study have largely dissipated. As sex work advocates note, when legal venues for prostitution are closed, sex workers simply move to other areas of the city and both prostitution and crime become less manageable.

Indeed, as the Dutch researchers note,“95 percent of the interviewed prostitutes report feeling safer within the tippelzone.”

Hat tip to the Harvard Shorenstein Center’s Journalist’s Resource, which first reported this groundbreaking study.
1 comment

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